Oh, America

I was reading this article, and honestly, I don’t even know where to begin. No, seriously, I read through this wondering what the heck was going on with the US government. And more to the point: how the hell has this gotten so bad.

I mean really. Forced to carry a stillborn to term, because cows and pigs do? State sanctioned rape?

What the fuck, America. What the fuck.

I’ve spent my entire life knowing full well that I won’t be as good as a guy in several respects. Hell, my own parents are guilty of sexism — accidental, I’m sure, but it’s there. I’ve been passed over for things that I can do because there was a male around. I know, it sounds like bitter whining, but it’s true. In some cases, I’d done similar things, and I’d done them better than the end product of whatever guy who’d been around did.

These things happen. It’s not right, and it sucks that any woman who complains or even mentions the discrepancy about how men and women are treated is labeled a feminist — which is then immediately equated to man-hating bitch. Let’s face it: though a feminist wants equality, the feminists that get heard are the bitter ones who want a chance at being top dog, at the expense of men, who the rest of us just want to be equal to. Personally, I just want the same paycheck as the guy who does the same job. Currently, though, I’ll have to count myself lucky if I make even 80% of it.

But let’s ignore that. Let’s not take into account glass ceilings, or paycheck discrepancies, or any of that. Let’s talk about the body, and who has rights to what.

Let’s talk pregnancy.

Now, let’s face it — men aren’t carrying kids. If they did, this would probably not even be on the table right now. We wouldn’t be having this discussion. This being said — what the hell gives any man who isn’t my boyfriend, my husband, my father, or my brother the right to tell me how to live my life? And what gives any man who I don’t have such ties to the right to tell me how to be pregnant. Because that’s what’s going on, really. There are all these rules about it now, and more that are trying to crop up. And frankly, I think the whole thing is stupid — and dangerous.

Abortion. Under 18? Need your father’s permission. Rape? Doesn’t matter. Incest? Doesn’t matter. Having the child might kill you? Well, at least the kid will probably have a father. You aren’t ready for a child, and have no faith in the adoption system? No worries, babies are usually adopted quickly, if someone’s looking around that time. The child is dead or dying? Eh, carry it anyway — at least you won’t have to feel it kick.

I don’t know. That’s probably harsh of me, but the more I read about this shit, the more I dread the thought of being pregnant, to the point of being on the pill or carrying condoms for the sole purpose of in case of rape seems like a good idea. After all, if you do end up pregnant after being raped, well, that isn’t a good enough reason to not want to have the kid. Hell, you can’t even commit suicide over it if you’re pregnant — because that’s murder.

I don’t get it. Before birth, all a fetus is is a parasite. It sounds bad, but it’s true. We feed off of our mothers until… well, we still feed off of them, but it’s a different sort of feeding, a different sort of reliance after birth.

Look, at the core of it, I don’t inflict my religious beliefs on you. Why do you get to do that to me?

Friday’s Child

It seems like every time I turn around, someone is either pregnant, or getting married — or getting married and getting pregnant, or getting pregnant and getting married.  Most are my age, or younger, which, as I am only twenty-two, kind of bothers me.

My roommate says it’s only to be expected — something about when girls don’t know what to do with themselves, they think with their womb. Something about children giving them purpose.

But still.

In some cases, they are accidents — there have been a lot of birth control recalls recently, and a few people I know were on those medications, but oops! it was recalled to late for them.

It’s none of my business, really, and I’d never mention it to any of them, but still. I don’t get it.

Tonight, a woman I know (who is 35ish, I think) told me she was pregnant. She was so excited! After we gushed for a bit (because I’m still a girl and she was so thrilled), I thought to myself finally, someone I know who is getting ready to have a child who is prepared for it. Because, let’s face it, the kids my age are all Oh God! What do I do what do I do what do I do I don’t have money for this!, but she told me all about how she’d been saving so that there would be money for this child, about how she’d looked up tuition costs and medical bills and the like. While she won’t be prepared for everything (how many of us broke bones, or got hurt, or otherwise had surprise bills waiting for our parents?), she definitely planned for this child in a way that no one else was able to do.

In any case, I was glad for her, and I just thought of all the other girls I knew who were starting families and how frazzled/worried/devastated they are. Of course, they are excited too, but most of them are giving up a lot — two have dropped out of college, and another has moved back home, something she swore she’d never do, but can’t afford to live on her own and keep her child fed.

There isn’t much else to say. I hope motherhood agrees with them all, and that they and their children (and husbands/boyfriends/what have you) stay safe and well.

~Ekhlami